Translation and Performance Notes

• Grammar
• Semantics
  • Semantics/Lexical Semantics
  • Phrase-Level Semantics
  • Verbal Semantics
  • Semantics/Story behind the Psalm
• Exegetical Issues
• Discourse
  • Participant Analysis
  • Macrosyntax
  • Speech Act Analysis
  • Emotional Analysis
• Poetics
  • Poetic Structure
  • Poetic Features
• Synthesis
  • Verse-by-Verse Notes
  • Translation and Performance Notes
• Close-but-Clear
• Videos
  • Overview
  • Top 3 Exegetical Issues
  • Top 3 Poetic Features
• Post to wiki

Version: 1.0
Overseer: Nikki Mustin

Introduction

If Verse-by-Verse Notes serve the purpose of addressing specific issues in each verse in a scholarly way, providing the rationale for our decisions--Translation Challenges are intended to be an at-a-glance resource for translation teams as they are drafting and checking their translations. For simplicity's and brevity's sake, we veer away from providing the WHY for our exegetical decisions in Translation Challenges. Users are encouraged to consult the Verse-by-Verse or our different layers to find the rationale for our interpretations, if interested. Translation Challenges also go one step farther than the Verse-by-Verse by providing translation suggestions and examples, where pertinent.

Language register: The information contained in the Translation Challenges is intended to be accessed by translation teams who likely don't speak English as a first language, so the language is simpler than is found in Verse-by-Verse. The goal is to use a register of English that is simpler than academic English, but not quite as pared-down as ESL English. See step 4 in the instructions below for some guidelines on simplifying the language for Translation Challenges.

Required Tools

• Open-source Hebrew text: OSHB Read, also available on the Psalms: Layer by Layer forum.
• The latest version of the CBC, also found on the Psalms: Layer by Layer forum.
• The Verse-by-Verse notes for the psalm
• A number of modern English translations, to compare
• Your favorite word processing software, or Google Docs
• Recommended translation resources:

1. UBS Handbook
2. Hebrew Poetry in the Bible: A Guide for Understanding and for Translating

Steps

1. Create the Document and Fill in Introductory Material.

A. Open this template in Google Docs, and go to File => Make a Copy. In the file name, erase the words "Copy of" and add the Psalm number. Click "Make a Copy."

B. Open the Miro board for the Psalm, and find the At-A-Glance layer. Find the Overview section, and then use the Frame feature in Miro to capture a screenshot of the Icon and Title image. Save the Icon and Title image as a small image to your computer. In Google Docs, add the image in the place of the words "Psalm #" on page 1.

C. In the table on page 1, copy and paste the Hebrew text and the CBC, side by side, with verse numbers in between.

D. Begin to identify and color the various words and phrases in the Psalm according to the color legend on Page 1. Do not worry about being able to correctly identify everything at this point; you will very likely make changes as you go through the TPN creation process. A helpful guide for identifying figures of speech is in Allen Ross' Commentary on the Psalms, vol. 1, pages 90-109.

E. Here is an example of what the first page of the TPN would look like at this point:

2. Translation Tips - The Psalm as A Whole.

Overview Section

Look up the Psalm on the Wiki Page. Use the information from the Overview on the main page to fill in the Overview section on the TPN. In most cases, this information can be cut and pasted without changes.

Story Behind Section

Summary: Using the Psalm's Story Behind main triangle as your guide, write a short summary paragraph of the story that this Psalm tells.

Background Ideas: On the Miro board for the Psalm, go to the Synthesis layer and find the At-A-Glance visual. Take the background ideas from the Orientation part of this visual, and paste them into the TPN here. Each bullet point should be as brief as possible.

Background Situation: Save a copy of the 'Background events' visual from the Orientation part of the At-A-Glance visual on the Miro board. Paste it to your TPN here.

Layout Section

In the Miro board for the psalm, go to the Synthesis layer and find the At-A-Glance visual. It should already have a frame around it. Save this image to your computer, and add it to the TPN.

Underneath the heading "Progression of Thought," tell how many sections there are in the psalm, and then use bullet points to provide a 1-2 sentence description of each section.

Emotions Section

In the Miro board for the psalm, copy the At-A-Glance visual and paste it off to the far-right-hand side where it will not be confused with previous work. Delete the sentences/phrases in the boxes in the main middle column. In each box, re-type the 1-2 emotions that the exegete has identified as the main emotion in that section (these are in red boxes in the At-A-Glance). Make the font size 64 pt (or whatever comes closest while fitting in the box) and choose a consistent color for these emotions throughout the column. Capture the image from the verse numbers on the left to the icons on the right, and upload it to your TPN. The result will look something like this:

Prominence Section

Your prominence section should look something like this:

1) On the Miro board, find the Prominence layer. The right-most visual gives the top three most prominent sections of the psalm. Identify the section of highest (primary) prominence.

2) Then identify the 2-3 prominence features that match the section of highest prominence. Using the Frame feature in Miro, take a screenshot of one of those prominence features that you find to be the most visually pleasing. Save it to your computer.

3) In your TPN, create a 2-column table with no borders. In the first column, upload the image of the prominence feature from Miro. Shrink the image so that it only takes up about 1/2 of the text-width of the page (not including the margin). It is not necessary that the words of the psalm be legible - the important thing is that the image should draw attention to the section of the psalm that is most prominent.

4) Then, drawing from the explanations of the 2-3 prominence features, use bullet points in the right-hand column of the table to briefly summarize what makes this section the most prominent. For variety, switch the table columns of the secondary prominence feature so that the image is on the right and the bullet points on the left.

5) Repeat the same process for the secondary and tertiary prominence sections, as identified by the exegete.

Poetics Section

Go to the Poetic Features layer on Miro or the wiki and identify 1-3 of the poetic features would be helpful to a translator or performer. Focus on features that are easy to explain, have clear impact on the understanding of the psalm as a whole, and impact translation and performance decisions.

For these features, include in your TPN the Poetic Feature image from Miro or the wiki (save as a file to your computer and upload it to your TPN). Also, provide a brief write-up of the feature itself and its effect on the hearer, drawing on the explanations given by the exegete.

Participants and Speech Acts

Take the Speech Act summary visual either in Miro or on the wiki and upload it to your TPN here.

If there are any major issues in the psalm with identifying participants or speech acts, describe them briefly here. For most psalms, though, the visual will be enough to explain these layers on the psalm-wide level.

3. Section-by-Section and Verse-by-Verse.

Create as many section templates (the grey boxes; be sure to include the legend) and verse templates (with verse number, Expanded Paraphrase box, and Notes bullet points) as needed for your psalm.

Go to the Story Behind layer for your Psalm on the Wiki, and copy and paste the Expanded Paraphrases into the boxes on your TPN. Make sure that the formatting matches the latest convention: the CBC should be in bold, and the Expanded Paraphrase should be in italics. Remove any colors or parentheses.

Copy all the Verse-by-Verse notes for the psalm and paste them into your document. Include all text and visuals, but leave out the Hebrew/CBC chart, grammar/phrase semantics diagram, and expanded paraphrase for each verse. In other words, copy and paste everything under “Notes” for each section and verse in the Verse-by-Verse.

As you paste, use a footnotes tool in your word processor to ensure that the references are correct and in order. We will opt to use footnotes in lieu of endnotes to cite references.

Carefully go through and cut out the notes that may be deemed unnecessary for translation decisions. This includes notes that served to explain or defend our reasons for interpreting the way we did; for example, here’s one note to be cut out entirely:

The grammar and meaning of v. 2b are one of the top three exegetical issues in this psalm. See The Text, Grammar, and Meaning of Ps. 8:2b and watch this part of the exegetical issues video for a detailed discussion of the issue.[7] In short, although the form תְּנָה (“bestowed”) looks like an imperative,[8] it is probably an infinitive construct from the root נתן (lit.: “the bestowing of your glory is on the heavens”).[9] While this view is not without problems, it seems to be the least problematic of the proposed options.[10] The psalmist may have chosen the anomalous form for the sake of alliteration (compare תְּנָה and מָה) and/or to express the ongoing nature of YHWH’s bestowal of glory on the heavens.[11]

The rationale for cutting this kind of information is that we want the Translation Challenges to be as concise as is helpful for teams who need to run through a ton of key terms quickly as they are working on this psalm; they probably don’t have time to dive into all our reasons for our decisions. Many teams will just want to know what we recommend. Though Psalm 8 Translation Challenges includes a note about the verb “bestowed”, it does not include most of the info in the above note because it doesn’t add to the understanding needed to make a translation decision. The only exception is to include a link to the Exegetical Issues video, so that the user knows it exists for that word or phrase and can consult the video if desired. (Feel free to put in links to the Overview and/or Poetics videos, too, where helpful.)

Next, go back through all the remaining notes and look for individual sentences and phrases that could be cut out of notes (again, aiming for concision). Sentences and phrases to cut include:

• info about what the word or phrase doesn’t mean, and why. The exception to this is if our CBC rendering is different than the majority of modern translations--see how this is handled in the note below.

• any sort of rationale for our interpretation decisions, including why two or more verses are bound together as a syntactic or poetic unit

As you go through these steps of choosing what information to cut (and later, what information to add), a good rule of thumb is to continually ask yourself: “What information do translators NEED to have in order to make an informed translation decision?” If it's not directly relevant to a good understanding of the word/phrase/imagery, and doesn't provide translation suggestions--cut that info, in the expectation that the Verse-by-Verse, various layers, and exegetical issues videos will provide other details that may be needed or wanted by a translation team.

4. Convert to simpler English.

Now, take a closer look at the wording of the notes that remain--it's time to simplify the language. As noted above, we want to aim for a simplified English that will lend to easier translation into other languages, and easier comprehension for ESL speakers. It is possible to write in simple English without it seeming patronizing or condescending. Some principles to keep in mind as you simplify:

• Identify "academic-y" words, and replace them and/or provide short parenthetical definitions

Ex: Replace metonymic with metaphorical or symbolic

Ex: When a term is technical but necessary, give a simple definition in the main body and provide the term itself in parentheses. For example:

In Hebrew, the phrase we have rendered vengeful enemy is literally "the enemy and the avenger" (ESV). It is the expression of a single idea by two words connected with “and” (it is a hendiadys). An example of a phrase with similar structure (but not similar meaning) is nice and warm in English.

• Identify sentences that are quite long or contain many clauses (especially subordinate clauses), and cut into shorter sentences, rewording as necessary. Average sentence length should be about 15 to 20 words, just as a guideline.

• Identify passive verbs and determine if it's possible to change them into active verbs, without the clause sounding awkward. If not possible, it's ok to have a few passive constructions; but the goal is to have as few as possible.

• Where possible and advantageous, use a (perhaps bulleted or charted) list of related items or information in lieu of prose.

• Favor active verbs in lieu of nominalisations.

Ex: We did an investigation => we investigated

5. Research and add new notes where needed.

Go through the psalm on page 1 and identify other words you suspect translators might have questions about that were NOT covered in the Verse-by-Verse notes. To help facilitate this, pretend that you are attempting to translate this psalm into another language you know, or perhaps another dialect of English. Read through the psalm and ask yourself, What words or phrases do I not really understand, even in English, or need more information on? This could include this word in this context--sometimes a word is completely straightforward, but we may question if it means something different in the context of this psalm. For Psalm 8, I added notes about mankind vs. human beings and consider, for 2 examples. This can be tricky because these might not be difficult words at all in the Hebrew--but sometimes words that seem simple are difficult to translate, especially abstract concepts like faith or justice, words that serve as metaphors or imagery, or just words that sound "religious", or perhaps unnatural, in our CBC and/or in most modern translations.

To make these new notes--and for some other existing notes that you sense need a little more info to make translation decisions--do your research. Consult the recommended resources above, along with any other exegetical resources you prefer, and gather pertinent info. Don't forget to also consult the various layers on Miro, forum posts, and Wiki pages--these are a gold mine for useful info! Then, supply translation recommendations where pertinent. From the layers: all of semantics (especially lexical and verbal), discourse, and exegetical issues are particularly helpful.

FOR IMAGERY: Highlight each image in orange. Give an explanation of the imagery and its significance; often, it's a good idea to provide translation suggestions or info about each individual word, as well. This helps translators discern the differences and similarities among the words. For example (from Ps 19:5):

Copy and paste any helpful visualisations from the Miro boards or Wiki. Venn diagrams are particularly useful for showing the nuances of a word.

NOTE: Remember to write these notes in simpler English, to be consistent with the existing notes. If you find it easier to write in your normal/academic English first, then convert afterward--in lieu of composing in simple English--you can do wait to step 4 above until after you've completed step 5.

6. Ensure proper formatting of the whole document.

Where needed, move the word or phrase in question to the beginning of the note, capitalize it, and bold it. Make sure to also un-bold where it was bolded before in the body of the note. If a word or related imagery appears more than once in the psalm, add verse numbers in parentheses, also bolded.

Colour-code the words or phrases to match the colour key on page 1. Then, rearrange the notes so that all the blue words are together (in the other they appear in the psalm), all the orange words/phrases together, and so on. Type in bold font above each group the title of the group (Key Terms, Important Imagery, etc.)

As you do this, it's a good time to also colour-code the Hebrew and CBC on page 1 accordingly.

A suggestion for a cleaner appearance is to take some words that are in quotation marks and put them in italics, because a plethora of quotation marks in the notes can be distracting. A rule of thumb is to leave the quote marks for quotations from outside resources; for individual words and phrases that are quoted in the psalm or were being referred to as a word, put those in italics (Ex: the pronoun “we” => the pronoun we).